she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
