As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
