Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize