sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize