I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
