All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
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