Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
