let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
