I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
my poor anus
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
