I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
