right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
