She announced her abortion via fbk
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
