girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
