trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
