i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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