sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
