You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
