All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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