We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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