Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
