my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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