i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
