So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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