Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
