Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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