Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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