called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
