god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
there is glitter all over my balls
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
