I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I want her autograph on my taint
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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