watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Randomize
