Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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