I want to have your abortion
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
