I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Duck Duck Cougar?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
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