doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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