hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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