I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize