porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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