love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
