I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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