Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
