in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
