Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
