so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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