Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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