dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
