oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
