i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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