these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Drunk is not a location!
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
