Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
