i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
