I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
