You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
