my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
