Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
