I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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