..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
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