Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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