you turned your livingroom into a bong?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
