god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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