Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
