there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
