Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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